ALL THE TRANSITION!!!

My team has left China; most of them are back in America.

My mom is in China.  (Crazy, right?  She is very bold to come here... and then to entrust herself to me...  I think she will be able to say, "Sorry to bug you, but can you tell me where this is?" in Chinese before she leaves, since I spend a lot of time being lost and asking for directions.)

I am very excited to leave Beijing (which is crowded, expensive, and dirty) and go back to Changchun (my home!!)

Two random notes:

1)  The headline didn't say, "Tibetian carpet explosion opens in Xinjiang," it said "Tibetian carpet exposition opens in Xinjiang," which makes way more sense.  I had an awesome mental image of a carpet explosion though.  Very colorful.

2)  Often in China, when guys (at least the college-aged ones that I've interacted with) drastically change their hairstyle, it means that something big is going on in their life.  Such as, they just broke up with their girlfriend. Or they have made a new resolution and the haircut is to remind them of that.  Anyway, it has happened with enough regularity that when a guy I'm friends with suddenly gets a new haircut, I generally ask him what's up.

Picture of my hang out crew the last day at HuaQiao

>
> Alicia, me, Joanna and Simon
>
> (taken by Simon, who tells me this is only the tip of the iceberg!)

We're in Beijing

It's hard to believe a year has gone by.  And while all of us are happy to see each other again, everyone is also overwhelmed and really sad.

So I appreciate things that make me laugh in the midst of that.

And one of those things is my friend Joson.

Every time he messages me, he calls me "bro."

His English is great.

But I haven't had the heart to tell him that he probably shouldn't call girls bro.

Partly just because it entertains me way too much.

^_^

At last, in a backpack...

It's strange that I'm basically packed.  Maybe because I still have two classes to teach tomorrow morning, but we are leaving tomorrow evening, it hasn't really sunk in yet...

But everything is off of my walls except my schedule for today, which I scribbled in the kitchen, the word surrender in my living room, pilgrim in my bedroom, rest is a weapon against the oppression of man's obsession to control things on my bedroom door, and the notecard on my living room door:  and I will love with urgency, but not with haste.

It's weird.  It seems like I've been here forever but it also seems like yesterday that I got here.  It's weird saying goodbyes to my students, knowing that I won't be seeing them in class any more, but also knowing that I'm going to be back on campus for about a week and a half more with my mom...

It's weird that I'm going to see her soon, and also Jill in less than a month.  ^_^  

It's weird to think, We are out of time; Mel and I won't cook more experimental dinners together; we won't plan more lessons.  There are students I won't run into in the next week and a half and then I will still leave.

I know that more doors will open, but right now...

Right now it just feels like too many goodbyes.

Punk Classes

Some of my classes and I have had a pretty awesome relationship.  Some of my classes... well, there are reasons that the adjective "punk" usually gets used when I'm explaining them.  There are good students in every class, and I love my students... but sometimes the class itself is just not very enjoyable.  

It's interesting to see how the goodbyes progress.  The classes that I was closer with have been less emotional goodbyes than the punk classes.  Why this is, I don't know.

Today I had the last class with the Tourism majors.  It's a large class (45-ish), and they are always pretty rowdy and pretty impossible to get to focus and have given me more than their share of both headaches and laughter.

For the last ten minutes of class, we went outside to take pictures.  They began pretty normally -- the whole class together -- and then branched off into smaller groups, which is also normal...

..and then the guys decided to pick me up.

...and then they decided to throw me in the air.

...and then David decided to spin with me.

I'm curious to see those pictures, but Phoenix has all of them, so I'm not sure how they came out yet.

David (who loves me; I don't really know why) and Lloary (class monitor) came over to hug me and say goodbye, which was astonishing, because Chinese guys as a rule do not give out hugs.  

The girlsall took their pictures and headed off for their next class and I looked up, David and Grant were still waiting for me.  David handed me my bag and the three of us stood there a bit awkwardly, probably with David's hand on my shoulder.  

"My English is so poor," he said, looking like he was going to cry, and then switched to Chinese... which I didn't follow all of, but was basically My English isn't very good, but you understand me anyway, thanks.

"Happy every day," Grant told me, not looking particularly happy himself.  "Even in this moment, which is a little sad."

"It's okay to be sad, I think," I said.  I love them too and I'm not sure why.  Maybe it all started last semester when I scolded them after their final exam.

"Please don't cry," Grant said, quite seriously.  "If you cry, we will also cry, and we are men, and men should not cry."

We stood around talking for a few more minutes.

"If you need anything, call us," Grant instructed me.  "And I will work everywhere in China, so I think in the future we will meet again.  We must."

They walked me back toward my apartment and headed to class.

My students confuse me... really all the time...

Last class

Teaching the last class is hard. Some things about it don't surprise me too much -- that Jane brings a small gift, that Hope wants a hug -- but some things do. A few who want to take more pictures, who want a hug, who want to really say goodbye are not who I would have expected. 

And there are also things that don't surprise me, but do catch my heart in ways I wouldn't have predicted. In this afternoon's class, it was Jack Black, who, despite the name, has incredible English. He also has a compassionate heart and is one of the students who it is a pleasure to teach (usually... Unless he has recently eaten sugar).  

After we all took some pictures together outside, everyone was dispersing. 

"Hannah!" he said, and I looked over. He put his hands together, stood up straight, and bowed. Which caught me a bit off guard, but not as much as the fact that he looked ready to start crying. 

Have I mentioned that I hate saying goodbyes??

Full Circle

You may remember that in the fall, I ended up hosting a birthday party, which was a great experience.  Partly because it was so... typical? of my life in China -- not extremely planned, a lot of people, a lot of craziness, and very memorable.

Right now we are in crunch season.  We finished giving exams on Friday, grades are due on Tuesday, we leave the school next Friday, and are teaching classes this next week.  Add to that mix all of the insanity of packing, cleaning, saying goodbyes and trying to keep investing in relationships, and that is kind of what our lives look like.

Anyway, yesterday my team was doing some stuff in the morning, and in the evening, I was planning that a few girls (read: between 2 and 10) were going to come over and hang out or play games outside.  In the afternoon, I was going to work like crazy on grading and other stuff.  

It was about 4 o'clock and my phone buzzed... and I was a little startled.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, pulling my phone out from the stack of scribbled-on rubrics.

"Hey, Hannah!  M and G and me want to cook with you tonight, okay?  We'll go to the market in a while to get food."

"Um.... What?  Tonight?  Where are you now?"  I was trying to figure out how this would work with all of the things that I needed to get done and the girls who were already planning to come over.  

"We're playing frisbee outside!"

Right outside of my apartment, in other words.

"Hmm.  Okay, I'm working on some things, but when I finish I will come meet you, okay?"

She called me back about an hour later.  "Come on, we need to go to the market!"

So I went outside, put my stuff in her backpack, and we set off for the market.  It turned out they wanted to make coke chicken and rice, which was a great plan... except that I didn't have coke or chicken or rice.  So we did a good bit of shopping...

Meanwhile I was texting my girls to find out who was planning to come.  (Turned out that it was only two of them...)

Also, meanwhile...

Gr:  *on the phone* "Hello?  E?  Oh, okay!"  *to me*  "E is going to bring two of his classmates too."

We came back to campus with a lot of food and everyone hung out or helped cook (or drafted someone else to help them cook), and then we ate... sat around and talked... there was a lot of joking about different dialects/accents in China.  It was fun...

And definitely not what I had planned for yesterday.  

Hospitality in China looks very different than what it does in America.  I wouldn't really expect six people to essentially invite themselves over to cook.  I wouldn't expect two of them to be girls who I had never met before.  I still don't exactly expect it in China... but it doesn't surprise me the same way that it did at the beginning of the year.

I love living here...

Translation Cooking Quotes

Tonight some of my translation students came over to cook for me.  It was awesome.  There were also some awesome quotes.

Tempestt gave our one student, Will, a poster, and he was bragging over it: Will: "My precious....." 

Tuzki:  "Precious?" 

Larry:  "压力!!" (pressure)

all of us:  "NO!"

Will:  "Oh no, you're his oral English teacher, he's such a bad student... you must be very ashamed of him."

me:  "Larry, you... just failed the class."

Quinton:  "Hey, Hannah, I have a question for you!  What year did you study at XiaDa?"

me:  "Quinton, you should save that question for Monday [in our last class], because that is basically the same as asking me how old I am."

Quinton:  "Oh.  Hahaha.  Well, on Monday, I am going to ask you much more sharp questions."

me:  "Like...."

Quinton:  "Like, when are you planning to get married?  What about children?"

Tuzki:  "Do you have a boyfriend?"

me:  "That would probably be the better question to start with."

Deep Waters

Some interaction with one of my students this morning has made me think of Prov 20:5, how the purpose in a man's heart is like deep water.  There's a lot that goes on in their hearts that I don't understand at all.  

Here's how it started:  I posted a picture of my very messy room, which is messy because of all the stuff I need to pack.  He and one of his classmates both started commenting on it, which somehow devolved extremely rapidly into him swearing at her in Chinese.  

I told him to quit being so rude, in English or in Chinese, and he said not to worry, they were just playing around.  Which may or may not have been true, but I still didn't like it, so I sent him a message and told him that whether she was okay with it or not, his attitude was bad for his heart.  So then we talked for a minute or two about maturity.  He could be a great leader, but he doesn't take responsibility very seriously.  

And now his status says, "Faced enough leaving, kind of gloomy, and also fair you well since never meet again."

...I have no idea what is going on in his heart...

...or really any of theirs...

A few gems from finals

"I think the football team is like globalization." ~ Kai, providing a segue from what his partner was talking about to what they were supposed to be discussing.

"And you will be unsleepy.  You won't fall asleep in your class." ~ Vampire, I think explaining benefits of exercise.

Snow, questioning the wisdom of his partner's problem-solving methodology of searching online:  "So if you're fighting with roommates, search online a?"

"Communication is bu good!" ~ Sky... maybe proving his point and certainly mixing languages nicely.  

--
overcome evil with good

Dry erase marker graffiti

Sometimes I think China can't surprise me too much more.

And then when my friend Simon and I are hanging out, he says, "Hey, let's go to the cosplay festival."

The end.

Say What?

My friend Simon and I haven't seen much of each other recently, so yesterday when our paths crossed we stopped to chat, him with his huge professional camera and me with my bag full of a computer and finals-related stuff.

It was a pretty normal conversation for about the first three minutes and then, out of nowhere (as far as I could tell), Simon said, "Hannah, you're thinner."

I did something like stare at him looking befuddled.

"Your face," he clarified. "Are you tired? Are you stressed about something?"

"Um, it is finals, so I'm pretty busy..." I said, still at a loss.

He remonstrated me that I should get rest, we said goodbye, and he chased after his buddy with another camera.

And me? I called Danielle to warn her that apparently one of her students still hasn't quite gotten the hang of a normal topic of conversation.

Sometimes I just don't understand.

Today involved a two-hour lunch with a lot of awesome conversation.  It also involved a lot of things that made me scratch my head.

The point at which I decided I was just going to get a headache and there wasn't much I could do about it... when my student said that 1) he wants to live a simple life in a small city.  A few minutes later, he said that 2) he wants to be a billionaire.  Not long after, life goal 3) ...to be a monk.

Anyone else seeing some potential difficulties?

After lunch, he walked me back to my apartment, apparently not in any more of a rush for our conversation to end than he was for his final to end the day before.  "Can I come up?" he asked.  "I've never seen a western home before."

Well, okay, although I really don't think that my apartment is exactly a typical "western home".  So he followed me up three flights of stairs and stopped outside the threshhold of my door.  

"Come in, come in," I said.  I mean, basically what you can see from where he was standing is that I have a lot of post-its on the walls.

"Oh no no no," he responded.  "There is a saying in China."

I probably stopped whatever I was doing and looked at him, not sure what this saying was or how it was related to him not coming into my apartment.  If you're a man, you shouldn't go into a woman's house when it's just the two of you?  

"If you don't tell someone your name, then you don't really believe [trust] them," he said, and stopped again.  That happens a lot.  

"Um...." I said, or something similarly confused.  That also happens a lot.

"My name is --" he said, and went on to tell me his Chinese name, with a promise to explain its meaning later.

"Oh... thanks," I said, not sure what the proper way to respond was.  

"Yes," he told me.  "Have a happy life!"  He turned and began skipping down the steps.

"Um... see you next week."

He stopped.  "Hmm?"

"Next week, we have the exam.  So I will see you then..." I said, hoping that he remembered that.

"Oh, yes, of course," he said, looking perplexed about why I felt it necessary to tell him that.

I refrained from saying happy everyday, then! and we parted with something like bye.

...I love my students. 

Finals

I was a little bit wary when Victor began the video project that his group had made for their final exam, because it said, "This video is not only for our homework, but also for a memory," because I was afraid that it was going to be something sweet and sappy and awesome that would make me cry.

But then it was the five of them, Victor and Andy and Banana and Cherry and Only, giving a tour of our gym on campus.  So I relaxed.  And thought, That's kind of funny that they think I will have fond memories of the gym.

And then about two minutes from the end, the music started.

And the text on the screen said, This has been your home for a while too...

And I could feel myself starting to cry THEN.

And since the last two minutes were the five of them all saying goodbye, I just cried more.

But I was also laughing, because I love them and it seems a little silly to sob about saying goodbye to kids who I'm still in the same room as and we still have one more class together, and their goodbyes were typically incredibly dramatic and over the top.  (Banana, when given the question "Who would you want to be stuck on a desert island with?" for her impromptu speech last semester, said her oral English teacher.  And I should have seen it coming.)  

So there I am, crying and not really able to stop, and also cracking up, which made it sound like I was crying way, way harder than I was.  

Victor, who was sitting right in front of me:  "Don't cry!  Hannah, don't cry!!"

Cherry:  *bopping Banana to tell her that their video was making me cry*

Banana:  *turning around to look at me*

Will, who was sitting next to me:  *clueless*  *finally gets a pack of tissues*

me:  *feeling very un-teachery*

Why do I get the feeling this is probably going to be my life for the next... two weeks... or month...

aaaaaiya.

Finals thus far

Stories from finals so far:

Victory: "I want to be a daughter."

me: "A daughter?"

Victory: "Dui, yeah, a daughter."

me: "...."

Victory: "I want to be a daughter!!"

me: "Victory! You already are a daughter!"

Victory: "...a DOCTOR!!!!"

"My mother told me that studying is not the only way to success, but maybe it is the most reliable way."

"In the global warming, English is very important..." (I'm pretty certain that she meant to say globalization.)

The student – a very quiet girl – who came in wearing a t-shirt that said, Drink Drank Drunk.

me: "Hey Alex, how are you?"

Alex: "I'm going fine."

me: "Um... what?"

Alex: "I'm going fine."

me: "Alex... I don't think you can say that. That doesn't really make sense."

Alex: "Oh? Oh. I'm good."

in answer to a question about the biggest change in college: "Before, in the high school, we were like brothers and sisters. But now, everyone just wants to take care of themselves and get the best thing for their own."

student: "In some circulations..."

me: "Circumstances?"

Carter: introducing Roger and messes up his name

Roger: punches Carter in the stomach

Those are my students.

Random-ish note:  Please keep Wisdom in mind.  I'm not sure what's going on in his heart, but there seems to be a lot.  

Now they're graduating!!

We had a lot of trouble getting this bro to smile for the camera, even though we can't get him to quit in real life!! Anyway, look at how awesome our campus is now that it isn't covered in snow and ice!!

Long Time No Blog

Or hao jiu bu boke, as we'd say in Chinese... maybe... I'm not really certain about that word "boke".  I don't talk about blogging much in Chinese.  

Anyway, I haven't blogged in what feels like a really long time to me, which is not because I hate writing, but is because life has been in.sane.ly. busy and even when I do have some time, either the internet is being funky or I can't conjure up the mental energy to try to put words together coherently.

Why is it so busy, you might ask?  Great question.  We're now giving finals, which is is busy at best and is even busier when a lot of classes need to be rescheduled due to the Dragon Boat Festival which is happening Monday-Wednesday next week.  I've discovered that when it comes to finals, teachers and students have some conflicting goals... Teachers want them to be done as early as possible, so that we can get grading done sooner rather than later.  Students would like them to be done sooner rather than later, but they don't really want to take them sooner rather than later.  They want more time to prepare.  Which is quite fair.  But it makes everything complicated, especially when you don't all speak the same language to start with.

Aiya. 

There's a lot of time hanging out with family on campus, because awesome things are happening.  And they are all pretty fun.  ^_^

A few random stories:

me:  "So Marcus, how did you get your English name?"

Marcus:  "Because I like the man, the German man, the... philosopher..."

me:  "...Marx?  ...I'm glad your name is Marcus..."

*during a class presentation*

"My mother is not my mother... not only my mother!"

"We human beings are sometimes self-contradictory."

"How did you find out our class qq number?" -- question from my monitor... not sure how thrilled he was that I had that number...

from my text message archives:

"Two best answers for ways to describe food:  Unforbelievable and verjuiced."

ALERT: one of my students' goals is to "Run 8 hundred miles once a week" so if you see a female Forest Gump, it's probably her!!

Also, one of Simon's goals is to teach English to children in the countryside :) melt my heart!  P.S. Accidentally wrote "wart" instead of heart the first time.  Yikes!

hey, Hannah, the final exam will come!  the daily grades include what?  [this one made me laugh primarily because he asked this after the final review class... not at the beginning of the semester...]

And that is life.  :)

--
overcome evil with good