It's hard to love well.

It's hard to watch people who I love when they're hurting.

It's hard to be there.

It's hard when I don't know what to do to fix it, cannot in fact fix it.

Last night we listened to a message on Job, talking about how to suffer in community... learning both from some of the positives of how his friends handled it (I mean, really, when was the last time you sat in silence with someone for a week?) and some of the negatives.

Last night after that I was texting a friend of mine about how to deal with (and not to deal with) being overwhelmed with pain.

This afternoon a brother and I were talking about how our natural inclination is to want to be comfortable, but we don't grow when we're comfortable; we grow when we face things that we don't want to.

This evening, when I was walking back from my office, I walked past one of my students sitting on a curb.  She had skipped class today and I sat down on the curb beside her.  We talked for a few minutes, she hugged me, said she'd call if she needed me, and then I left.

I don't know.  There isn't enough time to be all the places that I want to be, to have all the conversations that I want to have, or to just sit and be there enough.

Words from the Word on my heart right now:

For His love compels us, because we are convinced that One died for all, and therefore all died.  And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again...

All this is from the Father, who reconciled us to Himself through the Son and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that the Father was reconciling the world to Himself in the Son, not counting people's sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore His ambassadors, as though He were making His appeal through us. We implore you on His behalf: Be reconciled to Him.  The Father made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

Words from a song on my heart right now:

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior 

[Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) ~ Hillsong]