Life's like a jump rope (and other musings of a very new teacher)

Back when Jo and I lived with the Wrights, between our junior and senior years of college, we taught Sukey the chorus of Jump Rope by Blue October.

Up, down

Up, down

Life's like a jump rope.

That is often what my life currently feels like. It's not too hard to figure out where it comes from... not having much experience. I just taught my nineteenth lesson.

Nineteen is not very many.

Here's what that translates to: Every single class still has a major impact on how I see myself as a teacher, how I see my students, and how I see teaching. I have a serious lack of perspective. I mean, honestly, if I have five lessons that don't go well, that's over 25% of the lessons I've ever taught.

Last week was rough. Two of my eight classes went really well. One or two were hovering between bleh and disastrous. The rest were okay, but not good enough for me to really be happy with them.

When that kind of week happens, it's really easy for me to start thinking, Wow, I am the world's worst teacher; what on earth was I thinking coming to China? It's really hard for me to tell myself, Okay, so this lesson didn't go well. The next one can be better.

The benefit of having such a narrow perspective is that when something goes well, I'm delighted. If an activity – or better yet, an entire class – goes fairly smoothly and results in more laughter than wanting to cry and my students speak English, I'm on cloud nine.

Still, I'm really looking forward to having more experience and being more settled as a teacher.

Most of the time, in all honesty, I really love teaching. I loved facilitating the ropes course when I worked at camp, and teaching is not all that different in some ways – I challenge my students, give them some guidance, and then watch them go and make connections.

I love the feeling of beginning to really get students' names with their faces and a feel for some of their personalities.

I love being in China, and I love the team that I'm part of (and also the A team). I love how I am constantly being challenged to grow in a myriad of ways. I also love the weather. I'm pretty sure we've had more sun here in the month that we've been in Changchun than I would have seen in the entire fall semester at Geneva. (If any of you want to come visit, I do have a couch.)

But sometimes I'd rather have working water, or dining halls where sandwiches are a default. Sometimes I desperately miss people in America.

So life does feel a jump rope.

I'm glad that life being like a jump rope isn't the final answer; I'm glad that He has plans.

    O LORD, you are my God;
        I will exalt You; I will praise Your name,
    for You have done wonderful things,
        plans formed of old, faithful and sure.
(Isaiah 25:1)